Author Archives: Ammar Ibrahim

Ammar: Good Morning, I submitted a paper regarding so & so last week, I need to know if everything is OK.
Math Dept Secretary: I’ve told you yesterday that we sent the paper to the sciences faculty deanship, go check there
Ammar: But I’ve checked and they told me they didn’t get it yet. What I’m I supposed to do!
MDS: Here, see the record, here’s a photocopy of your paper, date and time when we sent it.
Ammar( Getting Angry ): You sent it yesterday at 3:30, when I checked yesterday at 1 you told me you’ve already sent it.
MDS( About to shoot me ): Are you an invistigator? I thought you were a student
So I go to the deanship to check, Dr H is the Dean’s Assistant( Big Shit )

Ammar: I cam yest. bla bla bla
Dr H: I said I didn’t receive it
Ammar: But they’ve sent it to you yesterday, and I’ve seen the record, is there a blackhole on the way? Or maybe someone kidnapped the guy who delivers these papers?
Dr H( About to call security): I told you a million times I didn’t get it, I’ve only received a paper today which is not yours, go check with Mr A.

Ammar: bla bla bla….
Mr A(Opens his records book, and looks carefully for my name): Sorry my friend I didn’t get it, go check with Dr H. he’s a bit crazy, double check with him.
Ammar: Thanks

Back to Dr H., I think this guy smokes up, he’s soooo numb, always smilin, fate7 tommo o rakhy ….. all the time

Ammar: I went to Mr A’s office and checked, he said it must be here
Dr H. I checked, go away
Ammar: But not before I know where it is
Dr H. Go check with my secretary

Ammar: bla bla bla paper….
Sec. : ok let me check with the math dept first ( she makes 5 phone calls very effecticely and in less than 5 minutes she gets back to me ) It must be in Dr H’s Office
Ammar: But I’ve checked with him at least 2 times yest. and 5 times today! Another time and I’d die
Sec.: Oh don’t worry then, I’ll go check it for you
Ammar( What a sweet woman ): I dunnu how to thank you

So she goes into his office, and comes back with a paper in her hand.

Sec.: Here it is!
Ammar.: Where WAS IT!
Sec.: in his drawer
Ammar: Is killing someone allowed today?
Sec.( smiles ): It’s ok, just wait for 5 mins, and i’ll fix everything with the paper

Yesterday was a usual Eid day. Boring & lots of social duties. After I took mom for Eid’s dinner I decided to go somewhere to start studying for my exam to put myself in the mood. I called some friends and they were already in Starbucks.

I got there, ordered my coffee, went upstairs and started studying. After 15 minutes, a friend of mine came, we started chatting, and decided to go to the balcony have a cigarette as it’s a non smoking area inside. We went out there, watching cars & people pass by. We took ciggies out of our packs, did the ‘bride-groom’ lighters exchange thing. Took the first puff, “Yel3an abu il Jam3a ya zalameh” I said. My friend smiled, and as he was trying to answer me, we saw a BMW from the far lane doing 15 million Km/H. The car tried to change lanes, it slipped, hit the aisle( the pavement in the middle of the road, whatever they call it ), ran over a big Mupi, and crossed to the opposite lane, hit a car coming from the other direction( From blue fig to Abdoun Circle ). The car swirved and there were over 20 cars parked between blue fig and starbucks, what’s the natural choice? To hit my car 🙁 my poor Katrina got hit from behind( bala gafyeh ).

I was about to jump from the balcony when I saw the accident, but my friend reminded me that they have stairs, which serve the purpose of safely allowing you to travel between floors. I ran like forest gump, my baby was hurt, and there were people screaming. The accident was tragic, two other cars completely damaged. Petrol on the road, tons of smashed glass & motor parts.

Salamtek ya ummu 7asan ( Katrina ), thee most beautiful Honda Civic man invented.

Ammar: “Excuse me, what’s Mark’s Appt. Number?”
Receptionist: “fourohto”
Ammar: “Pardon, I didn’t understand”
Recp.:”Fou hoo to ”
Ammar: “WHAT?”
Recp.: “Fou hoo too”
Ammar:”I’m sorry, I don’t speak english, could you write it down”
Recp.: 402