PHP User Group

PHP User Group

Probably a year ago, I founded JoPHP, Jordan PHP User Group. Sadly there were barely two people interested in PHP back then.

Jad posted an email to JoLUGs mailing list last week mentioning a PHP meeting, I got very excited and went there. To my surprise more than 10 people attended the meeting.

First thing we decided is to reset and revive the group. Big Thanks to Jad, for his endless support to Jordan’s Open Source communities.

On Web Design

On Web Design

Currently I’m reading a very interesting Information Architecture book called “Information Architecture: Blueprints for the Web”.
The first chapter starts with a sentence that exactly explains how I’ve always felt about an idea that I’ve always argued with friends( designers ).

“Design is an old craft; digital is a new medium”

This is what many designers who design for the web need to understand. Web Design is way beyond Thinkin outside the box, or being a creative psycho artist. You need to understand the science of web design, you need to be very familiar with the technology before you call yourself a web designer. A utopian web designer would be a designer who can think of elements( I like to call them widgets ) that can be represented natively in the target technology( HTML, CSS, JS ).

Although I want to write more, but I beleive blog entries longer than two paragraphs get ignored… and my writing skills suck.

Dima’s First Post

Dima’s First Post

Ammar: Good Morning, I submitted a paper regarding so & so last week, I need to know if everything is OK.
Math Dept Secretary: I’ve told you yesterday that we sent the paper to the sciences faculty deanship, go check there
Ammar: But I’ve checked and they told me they didn’t get it yet. What I’m I supposed to do!
MDS: Here, see the record, here’s a photocopy of your paper, date and time when we sent it.
Ammar( Getting Angry ): You sent it yesterday at 3:30, when I checked yesterday at 1 you told me you’ve already sent it.
MDS( About to shoot me ): Are you an invistigator? I thought you were a student
So I go to the deanship to check, Dr H is the Dean’s Assistant( Big Shit )

Ammar: I cam yest. bla bla bla
Dr H: I said I didn’t receive it
Ammar: But they’ve sent it to you yesterday, and I’ve seen the record, is there a blackhole on the way? Or maybe someone kidnapped the guy who delivers these papers?
Dr H( About to call security): I told you a million times I didn’t get it, I’ve only received a paper today which is not yours, go check with Mr A.

Ammar: bla bla bla….
Mr A(Opens his records book, and looks carefully for my name): Sorry my friend I didn’t get it, go check with Dr H. he’s a bit crazy, double check with him.
Ammar: Thanks

Back to Dr H., I think this guy smokes up, he’s soooo numb, always smilin, fate7 tommo o rakhy ….. all the time

Ammar: I went to Mr A’s office and checked, he said it must be here
Dr H. I checked, go away
Ammar: But not before I know where it is
Dr H. Go check with my secretary

Ammar: bla bla bla paper….
Sec. : ok let me check with the math dept first ( she makes 5 phone calls very effecticely and in less than 5 minutes she gets back to me ) It must be in Dr H’s Office
Ammar: But I’ve checked with him at least 2 times yest. and 5 times today! Another time and I’d die
Sec.: Oh don’t worry then, I’ll go check it for you
Ammar( What a sweet woman ): I dunnu how to thank you

So she goes into his office, and comes back with a paper in her hand.

Sec.: Here it is!
Ammar.: Where WAS IT!
Sec.: in his drawer
Ammar: Is killing someone allowed today?
Sec.( smiles ): It’s ok, just wait for 5 mins, and i’ll fix everything with the paper

My Poor Katrina

My Poor Katrina

Yesterday was a usual Eid day. Boring & lots of social duties. After I took mom for Eid’s dinner I decided to go somewhere to start studying for my exam to put myself in the mood. I called some friends and they were already in Starbucks.

I got there, ordered my coffee, went upstairs and started studying. After 15 minutes, a friend of mine came, we started chatting, and decided to go to the balcony have a cigarette as it’s a non smoking area inside. We went out there, watching cars & people pass by. We took ciggies out of our packs, did the ‘bride-groom’ lighters exchange thing. Took the first puff, “Yel3an abu il Jam3a ya zalameh” I said. My friend smiled, and as he was trying to answer me, we saw a BMW from the far lane doing 15 million Km/H. The car tried to change lanes, it slipped, hit the aisle( the pavement in the middle of the road, whatever they call it ), ran over a big Mupi, and crossed to the opposite lane, hit a car coming from the other direction( From blue fig to Abdoun Circle ). The car swirved and there were over 20 cars parked between blue fig and starbucks, what’s the natural choice? To hit my car 🙁 my poor Katrina got hit from behind( bala gafyeh ).

I was about to jump from the balcony when I saw the accident, but my friend reminded me that they have stairs, which serve the purpose of safely allowing you to travel between floors. I ran like forest gump, my baby was hurt, and there were people screaming. The accident was tragic, two other cars completely damaged. Petrol on the road, tons of smashed glass & motor parts.

Salamtek ya ummu 7asan ( Katrina ), thee most beautiful Honda Civic man invented.

I Don’t Speak English

I Don’t Speak English

Ammar: “Excuse me, what’s Mark’s Appt. Number?”
Receptionist: “fourohto”
Ammar: “Pardon, I didn’t understand”
Recp.:”Fou hoo to ”
Ammar: “WHAT?”
Recp.: “Fou hoo too”
Ammar:”I’m sorry, I don’t speak english, could you write it down”
Recp.: 402

Guess Who Graduated

Known as the dinasour to his UJ colleagues, actually some insisted to replace Science’s square dinasour with his statue, the 23 year old finaly graduated and got his BSc. After 6 years of suffering mainly from teachers & the system.
But wait, damn it doesn’t feel like it’s over, Asfour told him nothing feels like it( It took Asfour also 7 years to graduate ). But he swears, something is missing, maybe because he spent so many years in that freakin uni, and never really cared about it? But he’s glad the burden is over.

He had to pass 126 credit hours, but the records say he took 195 hours. Some stats through the journey.

F’s in the 6 years: 16( 48 hours )
A’s in the 6 years: 9( 8 of them in the first two years )

Number of semesters with semester average of Zero: 3

Average of all semesters during the first 2 years didn’t go below 3.33
Average of all semesters after 2nd year was below 2.8

GPA after 2nd Year: 3.6
Total GPA: 2.89

Beauty of a Woman

The true beauty of creation; creating services, creating games or writing something is to see how people use/react to that. No matter how hard you try to imagine, some people just surprise you. Did the person who invented the car predict that it’s backseats are used the way they are used now?

I just found a hilarious comment, although intended to be very serious by its author, on the previous entry( 3amleh Diet ).

“The only thing shallow is you and your comments on Ammani girls.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good, just because a woman
likes to look good, it doesn’t make her shallow or want to marry rich
men only.

This whole blog is an insult to women who have had to fight for their
freedom, liberalization and right to vote. Even after so many obstacles
we passed, we still have to defend our intelligence in the face of a
shallow blog.”

The sentence in bold face just made me roll on the floor laughin’. I just felt how writers get misunderstood and they’d just slap their forehead with their palms saying: What the Fu**?

Here I am, Ammar, who likes to insult women who fought for their ‘freedom’, burries a baby if its a girl and denies women right to vote.

Mom is Funny

Mom called me a minute ago

Mom: Where Are you?
Ammar: At Work.
Mom: Just wanted to tell you be carefull, don’t go to Places( haik wella haik ). meaning don’t go to possibly targted places by terrorist groups!
Ammar( laughs ): OK, I won’t
Mom: And oh by the way, don’t eat chicken

Branding Plans, Services and Usability

Currently I’m helping a client build their website. which is going to offer some digital communication services. We had some sort of a discussion about the way they brand their services, I’m no branding expert( Ahmad Humeid is). Which in this case is subscription plans. They want to put their brand with the name of the service, which i’m strictly against. Let’s assume the brand name is ABC.

They want to have the following hypothetical plans:

ABC basic
ABC advnaced
ABC power
ABC ultimate
I think the following scheme is less confusing for users. Yet imagine someone calling customer support, this is by far easier to rememeber.